Bras Don’t Support Bouncing Breasts

This study that today’s bras do not support the bouncing movements of a woman’s breasts and I, being rather well-endowed in this area, can attest to that fact. I don’t know how much money I’ve spent looking for a decent fitting bra with some support and have come up short each time. I often joke that one of the reasons I don’t jog or go running is because I’ll give myself 2 black eyes; and while it is a joke, there’s a grain of truth in it too. All through high school I avoided physical activity because of breast discomfort and it has only gotten worse as I’ve gained more weight and the girls have gotten bigger. Some days, you really do feel like wrapping yourself in duct tape just keep them from bouncing around.

An encapsulated bra works well enough, but then you have to contend with the issue that you look like Madonna circa 1990. There’s some decent enough sports bras and full support bras for us busty gals but then you have to deal with them not being very cute or physically attractive; trust me, if one of them hooks lets loose, someone’s losing an eye. I believe Jeff Foxworthy calls them “Lunchroom lady bras”. You can’t wear spaghetti strap shirts with them on, or sleeveless t-shirts either. So we’re stuck with really uncomfortable strapless bras (which are kind of thrilling for a while; feels like someone’s cupping your gals all day), or the thin strapped bras that dig into your shoulders and make your jugs jiggle each time you take a step.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore my push up bra no matter how uncomfortable it is for my shoulders but I’m not about to wear it to the gym.

The duct tape option though is looking mighty impressive when one thinks about it. It’s just getting that stuff off that would hurt. Free wax job anyone?