Nanny and the Dandelion

Around Christmas time some of you may remember me venting my frustrations at our Health care system, my grandmother (Nanny), and her horrible cough that has been lasting upwards of 15 years. Well, I have an update.

After hearing that upon arriving back in Ontario after Christmas she rarely left the house due to being so sick, it has come to my attention (and I confirmed it by calling her on my lunch break), that the cure to her problem all along has been in your garden variety, pesky, hard-to-kill dandelion. Yes, a dandelion. Or rather several and in syrup form.

It seems that she was venting and ranting to her neighbor about her problems who gave her a recipe for dandelion syrup. She made it, took 1 teaspoon before bed and 1 teaspoon upon waking up. Either right after this or sometime in the day she started to cough. It was the mother of all coughs. Out came literally cups of green/yellow sputum, phlegm, gunk, goop; whatever you want to call it, it came up.

That was a few weeks ago, perhaps mid April/late April. As of now, she talked to me on the phone for over 20 minutes without having to pass it to my grandfather (Poppy) because she’d gone into a coughing fit. She can laugh. She’s leaving home without her water bottle which was, for several years, her lifeline. She says she has a cough every now and then but not to the severity it was before.

For the most part, she’s cured of this puzzling disorder that stumped MANY doctors and specialists for almost 2 decades.

All because of a dandelion.

And an old wives recipe.

On another, less optimistic note I found out that the cousin of a distant relative or friend of the family (no idea which) by the name of Ed is going in for quadruple bypass surgery on Tuesday. My thoughts are with him and his/my family.

As for my grandmother, I am so happy for her. I hope this ‘medicine’ continues to work for her and that she never has to go through any more years of what she did. I don’t want to lose her just yet, not when I’m only beginning to appreciate the woman who is an inspiration to me in several confusing, ponderous ways.

Lonely No More…

I wish.

I’m so lonely.

Why is meeting people so hard?

Oh, right – working night shift, being shy, being the ‘oddball’..

I just wish I had friends.

Weird Al Yankovic – Like A Surgeon

Wee! Madonna spoof!

RIP Jerry Falwell

Jerry Falwell: August 11, 1933 – May 15, 2007
I’ll keep my opinions of this man quiet out of respect for his family. I pray they get over this tough time with the help of their friends, fans and loved ones.

iPodnation

Well, Dr. A posted his iPod playlist and I found out that I have nearly all of the songs that he has on my own iPod. How disturbing/freaky/cool is that? But I also have ones he doesn’t have, or didn’t allude to for whatever reason.

His post was in response to another blogger’s post regarding the anxiety some people fear when sharing what’s on their playlist. I can attest to this: Just 2 weeks ago when my whole family (mom, sister AND dad) were in visiting, I was driving and hooked my iPod into the car stereo using the $100 connector I bought from Future Shop (it will mean I don’t have to pay more to get it in the Yaris when I get the car). The whole day they were making fun of my music saying it was too slow, too geeky, too lame. My mother likes 70s and stuff like that; Eagles, Beatles, Cat Stevens etc. My sister likes Japanese music from anime’s in Japanese which she can’t understand, she also likes really odd (I’m resisting the urge to say “stupid”) non musical things like plays performed by “emo” 16 year old boys, or other things like that. My dad likes country and western music. That’s it. If it’s not a cry-in-my-beer-cuz-my-woman-left-me-and-my-dog-got-hit-by-my-best-buddies-truck then he won’t listen to it. Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Alan Jackson etc. etc. ad naseum. Needless to say, we never listened to a lot of music growing up due to the fact that mom refuses to tolerate dad’s depressing, honky-tonk hillbilly tracks and dad can’t stand 70s rock’n roll (too assanine, he says; no story to it).

Back on the subject of iPodophilia, I totally get it and have it. I’ve been called out before on having a horrible taste in music so I’m usually leery about admitting what I do listen to. Now however, I’m revealing myself. Dear readers, I’m baring it all!

Here is a hint at what’s on my iPod:

Amazed – Lonestar

Beautiful – Christina Aguilera (I’d like to note there’s a certain doctor here who dictates while listening to this song – and the doctor is a male)
Before he cheats - Carrie Underwood
Strawberry Wine – Deanna Carter
Don’t Cha – Pussycat Dolls
Flathead – The Fratellis
I don’t need a man – Pussycat Dolls
In the End – Linkin Park
Hailey’s Song – Eminem
Lullaby – Pan’s Labyrinth
Lonely No More – Rob Thomas
This Love – Maroon5
She will be loved – Maroon5
Kryptonite – 3 Doors Down
White Flag – Dido
Makes Me Wonder - Maroon5
Hells Bells - ACDC
In The Air Tonight - Phil Collins
Vertigo -U2
Desire - U2
Pressure - Billy Joel
Stan – Eminem
Lose yourself - Eminem
Mockingbird – Eminem
Torn – Natalie Imbruglia
Fireworks – Hamasaki Ayumi
Yellow Submarine – The Beatles
Right Now – Van Halen
Accidentally in Love – Counting Crows
Baby Love Child – Pizzicato Five

I have much more on my notebook at home. If I don’t have my PSP with me on the commute to and from work (usually playing Worms), then I’m plugged into my iPod. Helps me forget about the creepy dude on the bus leering at me while rubbing himself.

Computers

I hate computers. No, let me rephrase that: I hate when computers don’t listen to me. I especially hate when for the past 3 days, Meditech has been kicking me out of reports no less than 50 times. Now I can’t even get into Meditech as it merely says the session has timed out then closes the program again. Lucky me. Yesterday I was so fed up at 9:45 I was ready to just leave. I had moved to three different computers with no luck on it clearing up. Apparently, the whole office has been suffering with this but I seem to be the one getting the real brunt of it. The other girls crash once or twice in a shift, and so far I’ve crashed twice in under an hour and now can’t even get back in.

And it’s not like there’s anything else for me to do. Even if I wanted to do some copy/pasting from the outsourced files, I can’t because I need Meditech to enter the reports into. So I get to sit here, wasting time, blogging about how utterly pissed off with the computer I am. I suppose there are worse things, like the computer not working at all! Oh god, I hope I didn’t just jinx myself.

You know what’s funny though? My coworker retired on Friday and it was the same coworker who has always had problems with Meditech crashing on her. I wonder if her leaving has transferred this “curse” to me. And if so, why me and not the other coworker who’s been here longer? Of course, calling the SD (Service Desk) does little good because when I ask if something’s wrong with the server, the nimrod on the end of the phone goes “Nope, that’s just typical Meditech”. Well no it aint bucko! It never crashes this often in one shift. But anyways, I’m ranting.

I just want to take a .22 and blow holes in the damn computer but, aside from Meditech not working, the rest of the computer is and I can’t justify killing something that is at no fault.

Or can I?

Attractiveness

Since when did guys like this:

become attractive? When was it judged that in order for a guy to be attractive, one must wear heavy eyeliner make up, dress somewhere between “punk” and “Elvis impersonations” and hang around with the guys that were always snorting and giggling in the science lab about the atomic weight of fart gas?

When did men like this:

stop being attractive?

How come everyone now-a-days desires these prissy little metrosexual, “I love kitty kats” type of guys. Or, alternatively, why do many desire the “I’m so emotionally drained and like my world is a black abyss where like I’m so totally going to die and like no one gives a damn. I think I’ll go slash my wrists”, eye make up wearing, girl jean sporting, whiny lyric producing boys?

What ever happened to desiring men who were strong, knew what they wanted, knew how to provide for and protect their families? What happened to the NORMAL guys? Who just want to live life NORMALLY? Without being so fcking emo?

I want a real man.

A man with muscles.

A man that can fix cars while drinking a beer.

That doesn’t mind killing spiders and won’t squeal in disgust if he sees a mouse.

Fuck metrosexuals.

I want a man.

I want a man so that I can feel more like a woman. I don’t need to be worried about if my boyfriend can wear my jeans and look better in them than I do. What kind of fucked up universe are these people living in?!

Give me an outdoorsy, sportsy, lets-go-cut-down-our-own-christmas-tree, type guy over these princess boys any day.

Can you tell I have men on the brain lately?

He’s Just Not That Into You

Is it just me or do some men just plain suck? Was that dream I had that night true? Do I give myself away too easily? Am I easy? I mean sure, I tend to act on impulse more often than not around men, especially men that are good looking, dominant, powerful and reek of masculinity. But I’m not stupid about it; am I?

I suppose I could give a hundred-million explanations on the reasons why he hasn’t called or e-mailed me in 2 weeks. His 5 jobs, all part-time, keep him busy. Maybe he lost his internet connection. But that one doesn’t fly since I see him on MSN every time I log in. So then why won’t he talk to me?

He’s just not that into me, I guess. All women eventually meet a guy whom they really connect with, only to realize that it was a one-way connection. Those feelings weren’t reciprocated and you’re left feeling like a dolt. You give excuses on why it was like that, normally all blaming the guy: “He doesn’t like me b/c I laugh funny”, “He’s not calling because he’s a jerk”, on and on it goes, when all along there’s no scapegoat. There’s just the simple excuse of “he’s not that into me”.

Hercules just aint that into me.
Plain and simple.
He’s not the first one and he won’t be the last either.

Sure, my excuses are:
I’m fat.
I’ve got crooked teeth.
I dont have a car.
I don’t like cats.
I hate cooking.
My laugh is sometimes annoying, even to me.
And I wouldn’t ‘fully’ put out.

Of course, the last one is obvious. I’ve been dumped for the same reason lots of times so I’m used to it if he would just come out and say it. It’s not going to hurt my feelings any. He’s right, I won’t put out. I’d rather not risk getting pregnant, despite barrier methods. I’m not stupid. The chance is slim but with my luck in life, I’d come up with the short straw.

Men do suck though.
They tell you how much they like you, how they really connected with you, how they feel as if they’ve known you forever and then when your pants don’t hit the floor it’s like trying to get a straight answer out of a tight-wad politician. All of a sudden, the same guy who was texting, IM’ing, e-mailing and calling you for a week has dropped off of the planet with no explanation and, of course, no forwarding address to Hell.

And yet, we women keep going back to them! We get our hearts ripped out and stomped on, pulverized and given back in pieces time and time again but we keep running to the next one. As if he’s any different. Given the chance, all men do it. They’re all prone to being disgusting, rude, ignorant, mean, sneaky little bastards. Yet I love them. Desperately.

Maybe I should just say fuck it, put my emotions in a locked safe and start living like the girls from Sex and the City. I mean, there really isn’t any pride put on being a 22 year old ‘virgin’ these days anyways, is there? It’s certainly not helping my love life. Besides, if I get knocked up there’s always welfare, isn’t there? /sarcasm.

When did we lose our old world values?
When did we start to place more value and praise on bed hoppers than those that, if not saving themselves for marriage (which I’m not), do not cheapen themselves by fornicating with multiple partners?

Is this normal?
Am I abnormal for having no desire to play Hide the Weenie with every guy I meet? (although, honestly I am tempted a lot of the time!). Am I abnormal for wanting to at least date the guy for a while before I go down that road? Is it wrong that I don’t want to go “all the way” on a first/second/third date? Should I just abandon these sentiments and hop into bed with the next guy I go out with? Is that my problem? Am I a prude!?

And if I am a prude, why do I feel bad about being a prude?

I just want to meet a nice guy who has a good/decent job, who’s loyal, has a sense of honor and duty, appreciates me for the type of person I am, doesn’t mind flopping on the couch with a beer screaming at the hockey game while reaching over to periodically grab my boob, will follow me patiently to the mall and wait outside the store with my purse while I try on shoes and then console me when my gigantic feet won’t fit in any, restrain me when I want to kill the perky lil bitch behind the counter who’s giggling at my monster feet, and then feed me chocolate on the way home all the while telling me that even though my feet are big, it means I’ve got a more solid foundation than that perky lil bitch with the big boobs, small waist, blonde hair and legs that go on forevern, has. Is that so much to ask for? Is it too much to expect that my man will bitch and groan about cutting the grass but eventually do it if I promise to bake cookies? Is it too much to hope for that when my parents come over, he’ll be decent enough to shake my father’s hand and not curse like a sailor; actually, finding a guy that doesn’t curse every second word would be a good start!

Where are these men that like “fat” girls? Ive yet to meet one genuine one who likes us bigger girls, well except for Hercules but we’re not talking about him!

Men.

I hate you.

I love you.

I think I’m going to switch teams. :S

And no you can’t watch.