O’Hare

Made it to O’Hare International without a hitch. Am here for another 45min – 1 hr before we get on the plane. Plane doesn’t leave here until 9 pm. We get into Sao Paolo at 10 am local time, wait for 2 hours and then go to Rio which will take an hour. My ass hurts from sitting on the plane and now on the terminal floor and I had to pay $7 American for internet access all day. By the way – American money is so boring! And y’all don’t have Interac down here! What’s with that?!I rarely EVER carry cash on me, just my debit card but everyone here has cash! Weird.

Anyways – almost to Brazil, yay!

BRAZIL!!

Well, it’s only 12:38 a.m. Saturday morning and I can’t sleep. My little apartment is CRAMMED full. Dad’s sleeping in my bedroom with Maggie the black lab in there. Mom and sister are out here with Zoe the papillon out here and I will hopefully get some shut eye on the love seat. Doubtful. I just packed. I’ve never really gone anywhere aside from my grandparents in Ontario. I’ve never flown outside of the country and certainly not to a different hemisphere!

I hope I remembered everything.
I guess if I didn’t, it’s no big deal. :S

Should go make a list of what I need.

Anyways – if I don’t post for the next 2 weeks – the reason is I’m gone to soak up the sun

Ciao!

Still in pain

Yep – still in pain. Fly out for Brazil tomorrow and my cheek/jaw still hurts like hell. It was clearing up yesterday, went through the whole shift with no pain. But now it’s back. The cheek itself is also warmer than the other cheek, and of course swollen.

Looks like I’m going back to the doctor later today.

Day 4 (or 5)

So, I took Scalpel’s advice and went and bought some extra strength Orajel. My cheek is numb. My tongue is numb. My lips are numb. (Can you tell I’m not very well coordinated?). I still have pain, but it’s much less severe. Upon shoving my finger back in my mouth and feeling around I think what’s actually going on is that there’s this tooth, wayyy at the back, by the joint, that’s poking out a litttle bit. I think it’s grabbing my cheek every time I move my mouth. But that wouldn’t explain why there’s no actual pain on my cheek but more so underneath the skin and whatever the hell is connecting my jaw to my skull. Tendon, muscle, I don’t know and frankly ( my dear ) I don’t give a #$&^ what it is, I just want it to stop hurting!

I’ll bet $10 that I’ll be sitting back in the doctor’s office on Friday while he probes and pokes around again. Lucky, lucky me.

Well, at least I got Orajel.

He Got Moves

So today I dragged myself into the walk-in clinic across from the hospital all because of a pain my jaw that’s been lasting since last Saturday (that’s 3 days). I thought I had slept wrong on Saturday morning and just kinked my jaw, though I’ve never heard of that. Sunday came around and it was worse. Monday came and it was a smidge better and today it still hurts to smile, talk much, eat, drink from a straw or cup, and to spit (the toothpaste out!). It feels like I have bitten my cheek although I can’t remember doing so, and that’s sort of the thing you usually do remember; the pain, the embarassment of biting your cheek, the anger that your teeth betrayed you and decided to taste your own flesh etc. I’ve also noticed, when pushing on it, a spot on the bottom of my jaw being tender and sore and so, after debating it, I decided to haul myself into the doctor’s office.

I don’t usually like going to see a doctor unless I’m really sick. I don’t feel as though a sore jaw is “really sick” and I usually feel guilty about wasting the doctor’s time. But, on the other hand, I felt that I waited a sufficient amount of time for it to clear up on its own and that now, with my trip looming in the very near future (4 days btw), I figured that I better get it checked in case it’s something moderately serious.

Unfortunately, I didn’t leave the house until my usual time so I was about 10 min late for work. I got to the doctor’s office about 10 minutes before my start of shift and only waited for about 3 minutes before the doctor came in. After hopping up on the onion skin papered table, I was then subjected to some serious fondling. He was massaging my face and if I wasn’t so uncomfortable it might have been relaxing. Then he brought out the popsicle stick (yes I know it’s a tongue depressor – it’s just so much more fun to say popsicle stick). This is when he truly shone. This doctor had moves, I tell you! I’ve never had anyone inspect my mouth with such interest for so long before. I must have sat there with my mouth wide open for a good 5 minutes while he was swaying about, shifting position, wiggling, snapping his head back and forth, working the popsicle stick and light simultaneously in what could only be described as a very strange, oddly satisfying interprative dance which I call “Seeking Doctor”. After that he started poking my tongue, shining the light down my throat, the roof of my mouth and on both cheeks. I could tell he was getting frustrated so I finally showed him by shoving my finger into my mouth and poking the spot that hurts. Hallejuliah! (spelling wrong I know!), the next time he jabbed the popsicle stick in there I jumped. He found it! He was happy too (probably because up until then he might have been thinking I was faking it). He poked around some more then hit the spot again and again I jumped and moaned.

After that, he fingered my cheeks some more (on the outside) and then found the spot under my jaw that hurt too. He passed over it a few times with no effect on me, before finally it hurt again.

After all this he said that I have a “white spot” where it hurts inside my mouth, likely due to a viral infection. The soreness on my jaw underneath is probably due to a lymph node being swollen because of the infection. He then said that the problem should clear up in about 8-10 days and that the lymph node might take a few weeks to clear. I then mentioned I was going out of the country on Saturday and he said if it has not cleared by Friday, to come back and we’ll see what can be done.

I should note also that this was my second time with this particular doctor. The first time was back in November when I had my runny nose which lasted for 9 months. I’m talking fully blocked and running like Niagra falls all the time. After telling him I tried three different kinds of nasal spray, he prescribed me a nasal spray. >.<

Now, if I can only follow through on what the Gyneocologist suggested and get that damn blood test for PCOS. >.<

100

This is my 100th post on this blog. That’s a record for me.

When I started this blog, I had no idea where I wanted to go with it. I knew I could not even come close to comparing with many of the blogs and so, I tried not to even compete with them. This blog is about me, my life, my thoughts. It’s a journal, a diary, a best friend, a comedy club and memoirs. I’ve spent a lot of time on this blog, and through it I’ve met some pretty cool people.

I thank everyone who has viewed my blog and those who will view my blog in the future. I know it’s not flashy and informative like some of the other wonderful blogs out there – but its my little corner of the blogosphere and slowly it’s starting to feel like home.

*Side note: The count down isn’t working properly. For some reason I don’t understand how it gets 4 days left until the 17th. I keep seeing it as 5. But – at any rate. I’ll let y’all know when I’m gone.

Cheers,
And happy 100th!

Dreams

Over the past few nights I’ve been have incredibly vivid dreams. I normally do not remember my dreams except for one a few months ago that I might be turning into a short story (it was that interesting!). Thursday morning however I woke up crying.

I had been dreaming that my father, who I have a tenuous relationship with, was dying and I was trying frantically to type of his dictation so that the doctor next up could help him better. My mom was there in the office with me, screaming at me to hurry meanwhile I’m finding out what my dad has. Pulmonary embolism, bilateral subdural hematoma, MRSA, failing kidneys and liver function, congestive heart failure, and colon cancer. He was dying and instead of being with him, I was typing. Albeit I was typing about him. So I woke up crying. I love my dad – I really do. But he’s hurt me so much with his words and actions over the years, and he knows it, that it’s hard to be really close to him.

He is the man who told me no one will marry me because I’m fat.
He’s the man who has a temper tantrum, puts his face inches from yours, screams at you, and threatens to hit you before walking away. Even though you did nothing wrong to begin with.
He’s the man who is constantly complaining about being married to my mom, constantly bitching about her whenever I’m alone with him, constantly putting her down because of her weight and how unattractive it is etc.
He’s the man who told me, when I was goth, that I was an embarrassment to the family.

And yet – I know he loves me.
When I was little and fell asleep on the couch, he’d carry me into my room and tuck me in. If I was already in bed, he made a point of checking on me and kissing my forehead. When my mom was pregnant, they kept a journal and I read it a few years ago. In it, he says that even if I came out as a girl, he’d teach me to play hockey because it didn’t matter if I was a girl or boy. That he really wanted a daughter. He was the man going to the cops when I was too scared to go to school because of the assaults. He was the one who was threatening to confront the people who were beating on me every day.

So what does this dream mean? That I should spend more time with him because he might be gone one day? Thinking about my parents never being around makes me cry every time; I can’t imagine them not being here.

I don’t know. I know he loves me. I love him. But our relationship is tense. We’re awkward around each other.

Last night I had another vivid dream but it wasn’t the same. It involved me killing someone, fighting my way through a store.. riding down the highway on a dirt bike, spinning around while the cops were shooting at me, climbing up a tree to cross into another country, while one of my friends couldn’t make it. Meanwhile I told him every time I teased him about watching Rosanne, it was because I loved him. Then after that the detectives found the young kid we had killed a few years ago while digging up the lawn and I was scared that my dad was going to throw a fit over his ruined grass. Oh and there was me getting impregnated by a mini-man’s baby in between the beds at Sears.

Go figure. :/

About me: Meme

Here’s a new meme!

Favorites:
favorite color: Pink
favorite food: Spaghetti
favorite drink: Coca-Cola
favorite ice cream: Chocolate
favorite movie: Troy
favorite T.V. show: The Simpsons
favorite store: Best Buy

Love:
who was your first crush: Derek Dickson.
do you believe in love at first site: No.
how long was your longest relationship: 8 Months.
where was your first date at: First “real” date was this past August in a little, tiny Italian restaurant called “Romanos”. I don’t see the guy anymore, but I still go to the restaurant because they have THE BEST Italian food and the waiter is a total hunk!

Have you:
have you ever gone on a blind date: Yes.
have you ever been in love: Yes.
have you ever kissed someone: Yes.
have you ever lied to someone: Yes.
cheated on a test: No.

First time you:
fist fought someone: I was 15, trying to protect my best friend.
stalked someone: I’ve never stalked anyone.
stolen something: I was in Grade 4 and I stole $1.50 from a classmate after being encouraged by another classmate.
smoked: First time I started as a “preventative measure” was when I was 8; my mother handed me the cigarette she was smoking (she rarely smokes). When I first started smoking for real – 15.
drank: 15 – New Years Eve party at my cousin’s with mostly college/university kids. I got horribly, HORRIBLY drunk. I vowed never to get drunk again and I haven’t.

How many:
how many pairs of jeans do you have: Three.
how many people have you dated: Four.
how many cell phones have you had: One.
how many times a week do you normally excercise: Nil – if you don’t include the half hour strenuous walking I do to and from work.

There – I officially tag:

Dr. Anonymous.
Parenting Solved.
Scalpel.
Fat Doctor.
Doc Shazam.

I unofficially tag anyone else who wants to complete the meme. Leave me a comment so I can come view your answers!

Brazil

Yes, Brazil. The countdown has long since begun where I will board an airplane for Rio de Janeiro. I leave Vancouver on March 17th at 11:10 am and won’t be in Rio until 11:00 a.m. the next morning. We have a few hours in Chicago at O’Hare airport and then a few hours in Sao Paolo before flying to Rio.

After that, we (my mother and I) will be rushed off to an island just south of Rio called Ilha Grande, a wildlife conservation-like island where for a week (18-24) we will be at a health resort called Koru Retreat. Once there, we will be participating in ocean kayaking, 4-6 hour long hikes through the rainforest, swimming in the heated pool (and in the ocean), getting daily shiatsu massages, yoga on the beach, and tailored Brazilian cuisine helped to “detoxify” our bodies from chemicals and so on. It’s also been suggested that a week at this resort will kill your bad habits so, while I don’t believe it wholeheartedly, maybe it will work with my smoking. Two weeks of not smoking (since my mother doesn’t know I smoke) might be just what I need to kick it. Also, when Marlene my coworker retires in 8.2 weeks I probably won’t be smoking any more since I will have no one to smoke with.

Carrying on however, after the resort is finished on 24 March, we will be going back into Rio de Janeiro and spending 6 days there. While there we will be doing a full day tour including a stop at Sugar Loaf Mountain to see the Christ statue, a seaside restaurant for lunch (lunch included), and many other sights. Another tour we are going to go on is a 4 hour tour through the rainforest in a Jeep where we’ll see also sorts of water falls (including Monkey falls and some others) so I’ll be able to get some really great pictures.

It’s going to be an amazing trip. Next year, mom and I plan on going to Egypt or Hawaii; we haven’t decided on where. You’ll note that my dad and sister are excluded from these. Dad is scared of traveling (even just across the border to get gas) and my sister, while I love her to death, is too immature and prone to throwing tantrums when things don’t go exactly as she wants. I am however planning on taking her to Japan (if she wants to go) when she’s a bit older. Maybe a year after her high school graduation; so 2009-ish.

We’ll see how it goes. At any rate – 9 days left!

Transit

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT TRANSIT

1. It’s unreliable – The trains are supposed to show up every 4-8 minutes, but it’s usually every 4-12 minutes.
2. It’s loud – It’s almost impossible to carry on a phone conversation while on SkyTrain without yelling into the phone and disturbing other people.
3. It’s dangerous – For people who decide to throw themselves onto the electric tracks. Thus causing all of the trains to be behind schedule for upwards of 20 minutes between trains.
4. It stinks – It doesn’t seem to matter how often they clean the cars, they always smell. It’s even worse when there’s a group of people who are smoking marijuana in the back car, sitting at the very back of it. There’s no ventilation and thus, you come out at the next station feeling quite “good”.
5. It’s hot – In the older cars from 1985, there’s no air conditioning and so when you get (on a busy day) 100 people in one car, body heat and environmental heat leaves you sweating profusely. And then you get problem #4 as well due to 100 people sweating.
6. It’s slow – Despite going about 70 km/hr, it seems to take forever to get anywhere. A drive that would take about 40 minutes, takes you about an hour on SkyTrain.
7. The security sucks – Even though we have a section of the police force specifically on SkyTrain watch (guns and all), they never seem to be on the night trains or if they are, they’re usually all on ONE train leaving the rest of us vulnerable.
8. Homeless people – Because of the homeless crisis in the Lower Mainland, it’s uncommon to get on a train at night and find a homeless person hitching a ride to keep warm (especially in the winter). Due to lack of #4’s circulation problems the rancid smell of urine, feces, dirt, mud and rotten food permeats through the air in the car making you try to see how long you can hold your breath and if you can make it to the next stop by not breathing. It doesn’t matter if you breathe through your nose either, you just end up tasting the putrid smell.
9. Schedules – This is more for buses than the train which runs until about 1:30 a.m. The bus however, particularly the bus I need to get home on, stops running at 12:30. Making it impossible for me to work late since the bus outside the hospital comes at 12:18, gets to one train station at 12:25 and then you have to deal with issue #1 thus making me miss the bus across the river and having to pay $30 for a cab ride home. Too, going back to #1 – buses too can have schedule issues. One bus that I take from the train station to work is chronically late (by about 20 minutes) if driven by this one driver. Conversely, it is a few minutes early if driven by another driver which again makes scheduling a huge issue. Miss one bus because it’s early and guaranteed the next one will be late.
10. Price – Finally, the bane of my existence. While my 2 zone pass is $95 a month, it only allows me to go from Surrey to New Westminster and Burnaby. To go into Vancouver is another zone and the odd occasion that I’d like to go to North Vancouver via Seabus is extra money even though North Vancouver is the same zone number as New Westminster and Burnaby. Also, if you don’t want to buy a bus pass for a month (which I didn’t for March since I’ll be in Brazil for 2 weeks at the end of the month), it’s more expensive to pay the cash on the bus. You can buy fare saver coupons, but they’re only good until 6 p.m. after which you need to shell out another $2.25; times that by however long you need to go without the bus pass (and the fact that fare saver coupons cost $36 per 10 tickets) and you’re looking at a lot of money!

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind actually taking transit but as a human it’s almost impossible for me not to complain about some things. Transit has saved me a bunch of money when I most needed it (especially when I was paying that $1200/month rent when I moved down here) but the novelty of taking it has finally worn off and I am hoping to obtain a vehicle by the end of the summer (or sooner) .

Transit is great for students or low income families (which I suppose would include me in a way), but there’s still many glitches in the system. Now take into account that there will no longer be any Translink company and instead, the whole system will be run by a councel of mayors from cities in the Lower Mainland, with those on direct SkyTrain routes having a more important say than those of us on the outskirts; this surely will make transit even more of a hassle to use.